And finally, we get to talk about John Carpenter, and his
contribution to the King library of adaptations in the form of Christine.
Carpenter’s one of my top cult directors—The Thing is one of my favorite films
of all time, incorporating gruesome effects, great paranoia and isolation, and
nice performances from Kurt Russel, Keith David, and infused by a tense synth soundtrack. I could go on and
on about Carpenter’s other works, like the hilarious anti-capitalist action
romp They Live, the deliciously creepy Prince of Darkness, the comic and wild
adventure Big Trouble In Little China, and the darkly satirical Escape from New
York…and oh look, I’ve gone on already.
You get the idea—and as to how Christine stands among those?
It’s alright. Starting off with a look of a gorgeous crimson Plymouth Fury
rolling off the assembly line in the 50s, to the tune of Bad to the Bone, it
makes no secret of what we’re dealing with here. Christine is a demon wearing a
gorgeous chassis, and she starts off by offing anyone slights her right out of
birth.
The film jumps ahead to focus on two teens, the dorky Arnie
and his friend Dennis, picked on by—yep, you guessed it, the trademark Stephen
King Bullies. These ones are so mean they outright threaten a teacher and are
too happy to take dumps on car dashboards. Arnie is looking for a means of
self-esteem when he stumbles on the worn Christine in a front yard, with an owner
all too happy to get rid of her.
The film starts off a bit slow, mostly focusing on Arnie and
Dennis’ antics around the school, until we finally get to see Christine show
off her supernatural abilities in all their glory. Considering this is the
pre-CG era, the effects are nicely impressive, and you wince thinking about what
they had to do to their cars on set when you see the sequences of Christine repairing
herself. After that, you get what you came for as she chases down the bullies
on the street, not giving a fuck if she’s set on fire, crashing into a
building, or even being attacked by a steamroller. Arnie and her form a twisted,
inseparable bond, and you feel bad for the geek at the start of the film now
fully going down the dark side.
It’s not Carpenter’s best film, but once it gets going, it
really hits the gas. The scenes of vehicular carnage on the roads with a
burning Christine are the highlights, and are as memorable as the
transformations of The Thing or the stalking antics of Michael Myers. If you’re
tired of serial killers with two arms or two legs, why not go for one with four
wheels and polished leather…
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