It's been thirty years since the little John Hughes-produced flick that propelled a young Macaulay Culkin into the limelight. It's every ten year old kid's fantasy meets G-rated Die Hard, and it also just so happens to be a Christmas film that in some places has become as much a tradition as eggnog and obliterating your waistband. As such, for this year's Noel, how about we find out how much it happens to hold up?
You probably know the setup--one that John Hughes, majordomo of eighties teen comedies, came up with pondering what it'd be like to lose his kids on the way to the airport (for some, only marginally more inconvenient than losing your toiletries I guess). And so we got Home Alone--presenting us with the McCallister family and their frankly gargantuan family home that's just right for them to accidentally leave their youngest Kevin in. And yeah, we all know this plot would be much harder to justify now when every brat has a cell phone, unless of course they went with the family being conspiracy theorists who think that phone signals emit indigestion rays or something.
Rewatching it now...it's not as zippy or funny as you might recall. For a film that's famous for Kevin rigging his house up with more makeshift traps than the Vietcong, that only really happens in the last quarter--most of it really is just kind of him having to cope with being all alone...in a rather affluent high-class Chicago suburb, but alone nevertheless. What would otherwise make this all a bit of a boring waste is Caulkin himself--who, yeah, actually does turn in quite the endearing and honest performance. When he looks upset, he looks like he's on the verge of tears, even if it's a split-second shot. When he's acting smug, as he does quite often, it's that (all too familiar for some) expression of prepubescent superiority only he could pull off.
One thing that does actually hold up better than I remember is John William's score--I had honestly forgotten he was involved in this one. Now that I have an ear for such things, it is pretty obvious, and his usual gusto does actually kind of enhance what a massive deal this would be to someone like Kevin, so kudos there.
And then we get to our burglars, played by everyone's favorite squawking goodfella Joe Pesci, and city slicker Daniel Stern. Considering how irresistible the temptation must've been and his usual type of performance, I commend Pesci for not rendering his dialogue with more cursing than Tarantino penning a Gordon Ramsay movie. Here, these two serve essentially as goofier looking Terminators that become bent on catching Kevin--for they can't be bargained with, they can't be reasoned with, and they absolutely will not stop, ever, until they do something unspecified but probably horrible to him. That also makes it perfectly fine for the remarkably resourceful Kevin to unleash increasingly agonizing booby traps that range from harmless, like feathers, to improvized flamethrowers.
Does that mean that Kevin is merely sadistic, or a diabolical young mastermind to eclipse Damien Thorn, playing with unwitting prey? Well, in fairness, the movie does offer a couple reasons why he doesn't just call the police, and the two bandits were stalking him in ways that only seem more disturbing as time goes by. And let's face it, in the heat of the moment, you can probably get away with justifying to a court why you damn near shoved a tarantula up someone's nose. But when he's cutting them down off a rope to fall about twenty feet, oh, you can see there is the making of someone who at the very least is going to take active pleasure on skimping on health and safety regulations if they grew up to become a business owner. As in 'removing the windows on microwaves to watch boiling sauce fly on people' skimping.
It's lucky therefore Pesci and Stern have metallic endoskeletons that they withstand all this (let's not even get into being lobbed with bricks in the sequel, which actually could very justifiably be called attempted murder), but ultimately, it plays out into a silly kid's fantasy that was what made this such a smash hit three decades ago. And to tie into the Christmas theme, there are the requisite messages of family, and to not judge people, as with the Old Man Marley subplot. There are still some bits I quite enjoy myself--like John Candy's great improvization cameo, and, of course, the classic movie within a movie, Angels with Filthy Souls. I love that the gangster in that one doesn't even bother cocking or removing the safety off his Tommy gun, keeping it instantly ready in his eagerness to ventilate folks.
So, how does Home Alone stack up? Eh, it's alright overall, but it's best watched these days with whole new takes on Kevin's possible mental state, which does enhance the enjoyment somewhat. Of course, things didn't stop there--we had the sequel set in New York, bringing back most of the cast, and even a certain soon to be ex-President cameoing. Some might call it a forgettable useless retread, but there are a few I've seen who opine it's actually better, with a breezier pace and Tim Curry to liven things up. Either way, we had a brief slew of imitators in the early nineties (ironically some accuse this one of imitating a French film the year before, although the tones are markedly different), and Culkin himself ended up in a parade of flicks that each did worse than the last. Anyone remember The Good Son? Richie Rich? No, you probably remember more the fact that Caulkin was somewhat worryingly close to Michael Jackson around this time!
In any case, even if it doesn't hold up quite as well as some remember, Home Alone is at least competent for what it is and has its memorable moments--unlike the slew of additional TV movie sequels, decidedly not involving Caulkin or Hughes, that absolutely nobody cares about. There's even been occasional talk of a remake, which is incredibly redundant since that's what all those sequels basically were. It's got enough fun for the kids and a sprinkling for the grown-ups that've seen it join the festive cinematic canon. And our now middle-aged Caulkin does seem to be doing alright after a few rough spots, with a few surprising internet appearances in recent times, and even will return to acting with American Horror Story next year it seems.
Whatever you do for the holidays, never doubt the home security power of Micro Machines. Still, as nobody's going anywhere this year to be home alone, make the best of things, enjoy your festivities any which way you can, and put on a good flick. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.
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